Notes About Life: 1 - Keep Going

Hey musicians out there! What's the cardinal rule in music? 

I can't think of more than one rule that might be considered cardinal, but just in case you can I'll get you started. It always begins with, If you make a mistake...

... keep going. 

Yep! You've got it. Though sometimes teachers elaborate and say something like, "If you make a mistake, keep going. Don't react, don't fix it, and whatever you do, don't stop!" 

The first time my teacher told me the cardinal rule I was just about to go into one of my first public performances. I was probably six-years-old. It was a funny thing to be told because day after day for weeks my mom would get after me for running through my music over and over heedless of the mistakes. She'd get so exasperated when I wouldn't stop after making a mistake to go back and practice the piece right. I feel like I remember giving my teacher a strange look, but I was six so my memories might not be super clear. Either way, stage fright and nerves took over and there was no way I was going to spend any extra time on stage prolonging the experience by fixing my mistakes. 

After that there was no getting away from the rule. Before every performance, competition, and official rehearsals I was reminded by teachers, parents, musician friends, older brothers, etc. that if I made mistakes I was to keep going as if nothing had happened--as if I hadn't just forgotten a measure, skipped a rest, or played the most out of tune note in the history of notes.

It's ironic, really. In practice it was easy to run through a piece without caring about the mistakes. I could play a whole piece without really paying attention, not even hearing the wrong rhythms and notes, but put me in a performance and suddenly ignoring those mistakes was...not impossible, but so difficult that it got pretty close to impossible sometimes. Going on despite those mistakes was a struggle beyond anything I'd experienced. After each mistake my fingers would itch to go back and try again, my ego would beg to prove I actually could play that tricky passage, and my mind would fixate on those mistakes. 

Regardless, if there's one thing every musician knows, it's to never break the cardinal rule. Why? Two reasons: First, most mistakes seem way larger in the musician's mind than they actually sound in real life. In fact, a lot of non-musicians won't notice a lot of things that would qualify as tragedies for a musician, but everyone will notice if you stop playing, go back, and try to fix whatever went wrong. Second, in performances the majority of musicians are performing with an accompanist. Reacting to a mistake or stopping the music might make the accompanist get lost and confused creating a much bigger issue than the original mistake.

Which begs the question, in life, which is better? Being the sort of person who keeps going regardless of mistakes without reacting or stopping or being the sort of person who is so fixated on their mistakes that they can't move on? 

I think society tells us that we're supposed to fixate on, feel guilty for, and continually relive our mistakes. That's what makes us a "good person." And, if you hadn't heard the cardinal rule your whole life you might think the better musician is the one who returns immediately to their mistakes. In reality (not society), though, the better musician is the one who never forgets the bigger picture in spite of the looming mistakes. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Finishing the piece is more important than playing the piece perfectly. Giving the listener a good experience takes priority over satisfying the ego. 

Not to say that fixing mistakes is bad. It's not. Just remember that you should never focus on the mistakes at the expense of the music. There's a time to practice and a time to fix mistakes. And there's a time to live in performance mode, a time to keep going, to not stop, not react, and not fix it. 

Want to know a secret? Life is 95% performance mode. So whatever it is, let it go. Keep going. Don't stop living. Don't react. Don't fix it, don't fixate on it. Just move on. If you didn't get it right this time, keep practicing, if you don't get it next time you might the time after that.

Want to know another secret? Following the cardinal rule is a talent, a skill that requires significant practice. It doesn't come naturally. I don't know a single musician who finds it easy to obey the cardinal rule. It's hard. Even after years of performances I still have to remind myself to keep going. The moment I make a mistake during a performance I feel that temptation to stop, go back, and fix it. I have to force myself to keep going every single time.

Living the cardinal rule is even harder. Especially when we feel like we have to fix those mistakes before we can move on. Or, when others (we) remind us of those mistakes and we find it, not impossible, but so difficult it feels impossible, to move on. 

Just take note of three things:

1. You can't fix mistakes. Mistakes once made are made, there's no changing that. 

2. Keep going. Move on. It's the only way to recover from mistakes, move past mistakes, and prevent future mistakes. Keep going and let it go.

3. Life is like music--all it takes is practice.