Esther Style

My name is Esther. 

You know that, of course, but I'm not sure anyone not designated as "Esther" truly understands the responsibility of the name. The name "Esther" is not just a name, it is a title, a standard, and a reminder of both recent and far-distant past. No, this is not me being inordinately proud of my name. 

Growing up I knew my name was rare. By the time I turned seventeen I had only met two other people named Esther. It wasn't until I started working in retail that I realized my name is more than rare--it is powerful. 

Wearing a name tag with the word "Esther" printed on it is like wearing a lightning rod in a thunderstorm (it's a terrible analogy, but I really couldn't think of a better one). The name "Esther" attracts questions, most of which begin in any of the following predictable ways:

"Esther...were you named after Queen Esther in the Bible?"

"Esther! I love the story of Queen Esther!! Have you heard it?"

"Do you know, Esther is my favorite hero in the bible. I love..." 

"Esther. Did you see the movie they made about Queen Esther? I especially liked this part..."

"Esther! My grandmother's name was Esther. Well, Estelle, but we always called her Esther. I love that name." 

"Esther. I can't believe it! Let me tell you a story..." (Long story short, he'd only ever met one other Esther--his wife.)

"Esther! That's my name, you can't have it ;)"

"Oh I love that name! I bet you want to grow up and be like Queen Esther, right? I just think she was so amazing." 

And, my favorite, "Esther! What a beautiful Jewish name." (It's not. My name is decidedly Persian.)

I have had hundreds of conversations that have begun this way. I have met people who waxed long about the story of Esther, their favorite parts, versions, and histories. I have had brief conversations with people who smile because my name reminds them of a loved aunt, grandmother, or child. 

The name "Esther" seems to bring out this nostalgic, happy, reminiscent part of people. It makes them smile, share, and, strangely, trust me more when I give them suggestions about their health. And while I would love to be able to say that I'm just this most amazing person that people meet and automatically connect and feel optimistic or safe with, the truth is I owe all the attention to the original Esther. 

There are a lot of strong, heroic women in the Bible--Hannah, Sarah, Rachel, Rebecca, Naomi, and Ruth (who also has her own book in the Bible)--but none seem to attract attention the way Esther does. It sort of makes sense why women would connect with Esther's story. After all, who doesn't want to dream about real-life romance where the peasant woman ends up a queen, and not just a queen, but beloved by the king? What girl struggling through Numbers and Isaiah wouldn't appreciate that? But it's not just women who connect with Esther. I've had many a lengthy conversation with men about their favorite parts of the story. 

The story of Esther, as I've been told frequently, is a story of sacrifice, of love, of devotion, of faith. It's a hero's story. It's a fairy tale--classic Beauty and the Beast mixed with Cinderella. It's history and fiction. Esther's story is consequential--it changed the world. And, like any good story, it stops at the happily ever after. Who wouldn't want their life to be like Esther's? 

There are a lot of things to love about the story. I am particularly fond of Mordecai's contributions and his question, "Who knows whether you are come to the kingdom for such a time as this." Whenever I have a difficult decision to make, or need to do something that feels hard or scary I remind myself that I am here, now, specially prepared for such a time as this.

It's funny, though, that by far the most popular part of the story is when Esther is chosen, above all the other women. We actually know next to nothing about Esther. Really, the main character in the story is Mordecai. All we know about Esther is that she (1) hid her real name, (2) "required nothing but what she was appointed" (a vague statement if I ever saw one), and (3) that she "obtained favor in the sight of all who looked upon her." 

I suppose we can blame this lack of information for the abundance of interpretations about what sort of person Esther was. When I was a little girl hearing the story of "Queen Me" from my mother, she said that Esther was a natural beauty who didn't wear makeup and it was because she was pretty without makeup that the king liked her. The theatrical interpretation is that Esther was satisfied with simpler things and didn't drown herself in jewels and fine clothing to be attractive. Then, of course, there are the character interpretations--that Esther dressed modestly and stood out because she wasn't flaunting her body, or that she was kind and her kindness made her beautiful and unique. 

They're all wrong, of course. Esther lived in a Persian palace which means that she only had so much control over her appearance. The likelihood of her getting away without the makeup of the day is slim. She was also trying to blend in as royalty rather than orphan. She would have been wearing fine clothing and jewels. While she may have been a Jew with different standards she was trying to hide her Jewish heritage which means she couldn't stand out too much in her dress or actions or she would be discovered. As to whether her kindness was the appeal, I cannot say. Usually kind people are more likely to gain favor, but I suspect she would still have to be more than passably pretty.

And yet, even though I suspect we all recognize the ridiculousness of thinking Esther didn't wear makeup or jewels, she's still our hero. She is the ideal for which we strive. The classic reminder that appearance is not everything, that character is more important than complexion and kindness is attractive. 

So what was it about Esther that made her stand out? What makes her a role model now? We know nothing about Esther and yet we connect with her, we want to be like her. Why? 

I won't pretend to know. Actually, given that there's some debate about whether Esther even lived, this might all be pretend. But, as someone who has lived with the very real responsibility of being an Esther, and as someone who has read the book of Esther many times searching for that elusive "thing" that makes Esther so popular, I will tell you this. It wasn't Queen Esther's makeup. 

Why did she stand out? Because she stood out. (Oh, I love answering questions like that!) What makes her a role model? The fact that she didn't follow a role. 

Regardless of if Esther wore different clothing from the women around her, regardless of if she wore makeup, regardless of if she was an incomparable beauty, Esther stood out. She lived her life as herself. The self that didn't need more than she was given. The self that hid a part of herself out of obedience and sacrifice. The self that wasn't demoralized in a crazy situation. She stood out because she was the sort of person who would stand up against genocide (not that she was thinking about needing to stand up against genocide at the time). 

Perhaps she was dressed in Persian style but she didn't live her life in Persian style. She lived her life her way. In her style. 

I believe Esther understood that what really matters is not what we do, it's how we do it. It's not who we know, it's how we treat them. It's not what we are, it's who we are. It's not what we wear, it's how we wear it.

Why do we connect with her? Because she lived her life in a way that connects with an inner part of all of us--the us that wants to be uniquely and purely us. In a world that tells us to fit in, go with the crowd, be like everyone else, and want what everyone else has, Esther's story reminds us to be satisfied with us and what we truly want and need. In a world that wears filters and facades like Persians wore dresses and jewels, a world that is trying to tear down the virtuous and good, Esther's story urges us to sacrifice our Persian (fake) selves for the sake of the things that are truly important to our selves. 

Esther's story is one of authenticity, of reality, of courage and confidence, of being enough. It's a story of being one's own hero. It's a story of truth and the power that truth has to set people free. It's a powerful story of standing in one's own power. And it's, more than likely, completely fictional. 

But you aren't. And I'm not. Fictional, I mean. And this is it! Your chance! Your one life! Your story to write. I just have one question: Are you going to hide in the crowd or are you going to live life Esther style--boldly, confidently, uniquely you? 

After all, who knows but that you were brought to this kingdom for such a time as this?