Esther-in-a-Box

 Just in time for the gift-giving season, there is a new toy on the market. The one and only Esther-in-a-box. Don't worry though. Unlike the common toy of similar name--the Jack-in-the-box--the Esther-in-a-box will not jump out to startle you. In fact, if all goes according to plan, the box will never open and Esther will never emerge from her six-walled cube of safety. Rather, the box will sit on your shelf collecting dust and looking pretty, but exactly the same as it always has. 

The above is a fun little blurb from Esther's imagination and (I think) a rather intriguing visual. But it occurred to me that while I will probably never be captured, forced to conform to a box, and sold off as a decorative commodity to be placed on a shelf, I am, nonetheless, stuck in a box. Daily conforming to a strict set of rules as I try to sell myself to others by convincing them that I am this, that, or the other. 

I am stuck in my own box. A box I created to tell me what I can and can't wear, what I can and can't say, what I can and can't try, and who I can and can't be. This box tells me, and others stuck in boxes like me what hair color they can and can't have, what questions they can and can't answer, or what flower they can and can't buy. 

These boxes are so funny, because most of the time we don't even see them or know we're in them. Yet they are every bit as real and inescapable as any box made of steel with an iron clasp would be. With walls enforced by subconscious messages of do or don't and the constant fear of whoever and whatever may be outside the box, we threaten, chastise, and criticize ourselves to keep ourselves inside. Thereby creating walls that are stronger than iron, more poisonous than lead, and more ugly than tarnished silver. 

Tell me honestly. If you weren't afraid of shame, of being wrong, of being noticed, or of messing up, would you stay exactly as you are right now? If you could live a slightly different life, would you? If you could sing that song, wear that flower, try on a new hat, or rock that dress that 's hiding at the back of the closet, would you do it? If you could be slightly braver, slightly more confident, and slightly different than the person you are today, would you take that chance, break out of the box, and take a risk to discover a new, beautiful side of yourself? I think it's safe to say that if we weren't afraid of retribution, we'd all take that chance. 

Now, before you criticize yourself for not being able to jump all the way out of the box this instant, remember that like every good Jack-in-the-box, we'll probably pop out in a moment of courage, and then go back into our box when our courage and strength wears thin. And there we will stay until the next time we gain an extra measure of confidence. If I'm being honest, we'll none of us ever make it all the way out of the box. But with daily courage and a willingness to step out of the box, I think we will slowly but surely expand that box. Until it is not a trap made of walls of self-doubt and fear, but a pleasant place to live and dream up the next big leap we want to take.