D&C 6:33, 34, 36

"Fear not to do good." • "Fear not little flock." • "Doubt not, fear not."

D&C 6:33, 34, 36

Today, as I was completing my final psychology assignment of the semester I acquired a new perspective about stress. NOT because I was stressed about my assignment, but because the module was discussing stress and how to deal with it. 

My attention was captured by the fact that stress is all about fear. Stress is fear. We've just given it a less threatening name. Unfortunately, changing fear's name doesn't make it any less dangerous. In fact, it makes it more dangerous. Somehow it's more socially acceptable to be stressed than it is to be afraid. I know that in the course of my life I've believed that stressing means I'm doing something useful. Or I use my level of stress to measure how much I care about something. And if I'm ever afraid I haven't done enough or given my best effort, I use stress to make up the difference between what I did and what I think I should have done. Stress is the universal balancer.

Here's the problem with using stress to make up the difference, measure our usefulness, show our support, or respond to minor problems in life -- it's really, really bad for our health. And not only bad for our health, but sneakily bad for our health. The occasional stress response with it's accompanying rising heart rate, and release of cortisol is fine and not much more harmful than a jog. In the short term stress improves immune ability and energy levels. It can get you through a tough spot - something I'm really grateful for. Alas, most of us stress as a matter of habit. Rather than coping with stress, we use stress to cope. And we don't even realize it. 

Here's why. There's a scientifically accepted response to stress known as the General Adaptation System. The stress response occurs in three phases: alarm, resistance, and exhaustion. The alarm stage is the initial moments when something stressful happens. Resistance takes over next. In moments of extended stress, when the situation isn't resolved quickly, the body is forced to accommodate the stress and begins to adopt a new normal. The final stage occurs if the stress is not resolved for long periods of time. Eventually the body cannot function at its new normal and it fails - and when it fails it fails hard and recovery is difficult. 

Now pause. Breathe. The world isn't ending even if you've just realized that you stress more than you knew. 

... we're still pausing.

Okay. When I was reading this information in my psychology book I was very doubtful. I couldn't believe that my body would run itself into the ground without me even realizing. How in the world could I create a crazy amount of health problems without any forewarning or indication of how stressed I am? It just doesn't make sense. Except! Except for the resistance stage when your body adopts its new normal, and after enough time, you start to believe it is normal and always has been normal. Unless the stress resistance is brought to your attention, it's very unlikely that you're going to remember the real, natural, relaxed normal. 

Now you've got all the information I have. You're probably thinking, "okay, Esther, if this is what's happening, then tell me how to fix it." I get that question a lot. Unfortunately, I rarely have answers. I'm better at recognizing problems than determining solutions. In my mind, most of the battle is recognizing that something's not working. After that it's up to you to try a bunch of different things that may, or may not work. 

So here is my advice. Make the general assumption that you're experiencing more stress and more fear responses than you realize. There. You've just realized that you're stuck in a stress resistance phase. Now, do something about it. What? Beats me. Sometimes I just sit feeling stressed until my body has run out its adrenaline response. Other times I take a walk and mentally scream at the sky until I reach acceptance. Sometimes I make the genius decision to pile on more stress. That one doesn't generally work, but I've tried it anyway. Part of creativity is trying everything. So just try things.

And also, don't get caught up in eliminating all stress from your life. I love to break it to you -- that's never going to happen. My goal is just to catch the stress before it takes a long term toll on my body. Right now I've got a rather lengthy stress response time. It sometimes takes me months before I eliminate the stress caused by one stressor. This is going to be a life-long journey. I'm simply hoping to lower the response time. And I'm not going to stress about the times I mess up or try something that doesn't work. 

Fear not to do good, try a lot, and fail a little. Stress not little flock. Doubt not, stress not. :)