A Different Kind of Crazy

A while back I mentioned that some people might think me crazy for my belief that pennies and paperclips are lucky. I'll attach a link to that story in case you missed when I explained why I wasn't crazy for my growing collection of rusty metal paraphernalia.

With all that said, I have recently discovered that I am crazy, though not for pennies and paperclips-those are completely reasonable. Nope! I'm crazy because I have a startling lack of ability to determine what's a reasonable idea and what is absolutely, over-the-top, complicated and time-consuming. A few of my recent art projects will illustrate this concept.

I Feel Like a Turtle

"I Feel Like a Turtle" was an art assignment for my 3-Dimensional design class. The assignment requirement was to take an already completed sculpture and cover it with another material. I chose to cover a paper cast with beads. The beads were approximately 5mm and the paper cast was almost 12 inches across. I'm not sure how many beads I ended up using, though I'm guessing at least a thousand. This project took over 15 hours and it is as tedious as you're imagining right now. 15 hours with glue, beads, and a pin. A series of repetitive motions -- one bead after the other. There's absolutely nothing glamorous about this process. It caused a significant amount of back pain since I remain in the same position for 2 hours at a time, and it required absolutely no brain power. What was I thinking when I determined it would be a good idea to cover this paper cast with beads? All I was thinking was that the texture and patterns would be really interesting. The potential boredom and possible insanity didn't strike me until much later.

Hue-Story

Hue-Story was another recent art project. This one was for an art exhibition and used the favorite colors of various artists to create a spectrum of color. I think this took around 16 hours, but don't let that deceive you. Eight of those hours were in one sitting. Sitting in one position for 8 hours causes excruciating pain, and at the end of the night, nearing 12 a.m. I was in tears because I couldn't sit up straight or lean over to collect the pieces I needed. This piece also took a lot more brain power than "I Feel Like a Turtle". I was constantly making decisions about colors and arrangement. I became very fearful that I wouldn't fit all the colors on the board I had available. As I was cleaning up at 1 a.m., surrounded by paper cuttings, covered in glue, and incredibly exhausted, I couldn't help but wonder exactly what I'd been doing for the last 8 hours - gluing paper squares to cardboard, yes, but why?

What's really fascinating is that this craziness permeates every area of my life. It's certainly more visible in my art projects because they have obvious deadlines and tangible materials, but the same dedication and craziness that gets me through an art project also gets me through church assignments, gardening, cooking, cleaning, horse-back riding, and pretty much everything else. I tell my sister that "sometimes you've just got to set your teeth, shut off your brain, and keep on going." You see, no matter how much you love something, no matter how valuable it is, no matter how important your work, there comes a time when it's hard to finish. And it's not because you stopped loving it, it's not because it's no longer valuable or important. It's just that doing things well, keeping track of the details, and striving for excellence takes more time than you'd sometimes like.

Imagination in Motion

In every art project I reach a point where I don't want to keep going. In those lowest moments of excruciating pain, mental exhaustion, and despairing doubt I've learned I cannot listen to my mind. If I did, I would cash in my work, scale back my idea, and find something quick and easy to complete the requirements. See, for me, the goal isn't necessarily to finish the project, although that is always nice. The goal is to discover fascinating things along the way. Did you know that when you have the same color but surround it by different color combinations, it actually looks different? Did you realize you can find funny patterns in white beads on a dark background? Did you know that paper casts covered in wood beads make a hollow sound when you knock on them? Do you realize its incredibly fun to have glue on your fingers? And did you know that when you're really tired you can convince yourself that your bead covered paper looks like a turtle, and that you feel like a turtle yourself? Those are some moments and discoveries worth living for.

So if you're coming up on a low point, remember you're just living life with a different kind of crazy. It's the kind of crazy where you believe something good will come if you just keep going a little longer. It's the kind of crazy that's defined by hard work that yields results, though not always the results you were looking for. It's the kind of crazy that leads you in a direction you weren't expecting but absolutely needed. It's the kind of crazy that I call faith. And that's the kind of crazy that comes with a promise. No matter the project, the situation, the circumstance, or the setbacks, when I approach something with faith and determination, it always turns into something I'm proud of, something I love, and something I'm pleased that I created. When I work with faith, it always works out.