I Met The Devil, Something Wrong with the Carpet, and Other Fine Stories
I invite you to laugh with me at these random, hopefully day brightening stories.
I Met The Devil
I broke my ankle and it's been healing for the last six weeks, which has made life extremely fun. Because I couldn’t walk and muscle dystrophy is real, my parents bought me a medical scooter so I could get around school. In the weeks while I was sitting on the couch with my foot up, my brother decided this medical scooter was fantastic fun. And if my brother likes something I am automatically wary of it. So much so that I refused to touch that scooter until the last possible moment. The crutches bruised my hands and built up a nasty, painful callous, but I would not use that scooter. Well, the first day of school arrived and I had to use the scooter. I was dropped off on the sidewalk with my (approximately 80 lb.) backpack and my lunch, and off I went to my first class. At first I thought the danger was a fluke, the random accident of running into a slightly larger than normal bump on the sidewalk. However, shortly after leaving my religion class the scooter introduced himself ignominiously. After that, my life was in constant danger. Walking, my next class would have been less than 10 minutes away. With that scooter it took me 40 minutes, and during those 40 minutes the scooter did everything in its power to throw me off. Any bump, crack in the sidewalk, unsuspecting person, or slightly downward slope was used against me. I had never before noticed how dangerous the yellow tractions strips at stop lights are. They’re deadly. Especially if you happen to look up right when you run over one. I discovered that there are slopes on the school campus so small you wouldn't notice them when walking, but my scooter picked up on all of them, and he also picked up speed.
After my classes I made the mistake of traveling 3/4 of a mile on that scooter in an effort to get to work in the shortest amount of time. 20 minutes later I'd learned that the scooter loves using weeds to trip me up and flip me over, but even worse are sidewalks that turn into driveways when you're suddenly falling left!
When I finally made it home at the end of the day I sank down in my couch and tried to stop shaking from stress and fear. My mom asked me how my first day of school was and all I could do was shudder. When I finally responded I looked over at the scooter sitting in innocently in the corner and told her, “That machine is a devilish monster. I swear it's been trying to kill me all day.” Since that first day of school The Devil and I have learned to tolerate each other. We even sat still long enough to pose for the included picture. My sister says I've given my scooter a terrible name, but honestly, what else can you call him but The Devil?
I've been writing this story over the course of a week, and just this past Thursday, The Devil successfully threw me off. It's almost embarrassing to admit. It was my first time scootering onto campus from the parking lot and I had just successfully avoided a steep slope, wood chips, and yellow traction strips. I was inside the building -- on level carpet -- and suddenly I wasn't moving forward. The Devil flipped over backward and I went backward too. It's one of those things that makes you wonder what's going on in the mind of The Devil. I don't think The Devil's goal has been to injure me, but he definitely succeeded in wounding my pride :]
Something Wrong with the Carpet
School requires a lot of adjusting. One of the things that changed was my breakfast and lunch times. Suddenly I was eating breakfast at seven-o-clock and I didn't have a chance for lunch until two-o-clock. I didn't really think it would be an issue since at work I often don't eat lunch until way past lunch time, since customers think the best time to order shirts is during lunch break ;) Well, about halfway through the week I was noticing some strange things - this carpet was one of them. I looked down at the carpet one day and had the strangest feeling that it was coming up to meet me. A random bout of dizziness came over me and the carpet, particularly the pattern on the carpet looked particularly strange. It wasn't the first time a dizzy spell had happened, but it was the strangest because of the carpet. Even now, looking at these pictures I'm still convinced there's something wrong with the carpet and I haven't gone back to study in this room because of it.
My Little Man
The power of my brain to provide fascinating and joy causing things to occur never ceases to amaze me. In other (more sensible) words, since I can’t drive I accompanied my mom to the dentist after she picked me up from school. Whilst there she gave me a fruit bar, and when finished with it I did what every person does with an useless wrapper, I folded it up. My mom talked to the dentist for a long time and I got bored I pulled the wrapper out of my pocket and unfolded it. I was standing at the receptionist counter in front of a security camera, and this is who I found. The poor man has no arms, but he’s still a very dandy man and I had him walking up and down the counter in front of the security camera before long. He had a very enjoyable ride home as he walked back and forth on the dashboard, until I threw him in the garbage can. Now all that’s left is this lovely picture and a little bit of joy :)
I Met The DevilI broke my ankle and it's been healing for the last six weeks, which has made life extremely fun. Because I couldn’t walk and muscle dystrophy is real, my parents bought me a medical scooter so I could get around school. In the weeks while I was sitting on the couch with my foot up, my brother decided this medical scooter was fantastic fun. And if my brother likes something I am automatically wary of it. So much so that I refused to touch that scooter until the last possible moment. The crutches bruised my hands and built up a nasty, painful callous, but I would not use that scooter. Well, the first day of school arrived and I had to use the scooter. I was dropped off on the sidewalk with my (approximately 80 lb.) backpack and my lunch, and off I went to my first class. At first I thought the danger was a fluke, the random accident of running into a slightly larger than normal bump on the sidewalk. However, shortly after leaving my religion class the scooter introduced himself ignominiously. After that, my life was in constant danger. Walking, my next class would have been less than 10 minutes away. With that scooter it took me 40 minutes, and during those 40 minutes the scooter did everything in its power to throw me off. Any bump, crack in the sidewalk, unsuspecting person, or slightly downward slope was used against me. I had never before noticed how dangerous the yellow tractions strips at stop lights are. They’re deadly. Especially if you happen to look up right when you run over one. I discovered that there are slopes on the school campus so small you wouldn't notice them when walking, but my scooter picked up on all of them, and he also picked up speed.
After my classes I made the mistake of traveling 3/4 of a mile on that scooter in an effort to get to work in the shortest amount of time. 20 minutes later I'd learned that the scooter loves using weeds to trip me up and flip me over, but even worse are sidewalks that turn into driveways when you're suddenly falling left!
When I finally made it home at the end of the day I sank down in my couch and tried to stop shaking from stress and fear. My mom asked me how my first day of school was and all I could do was shudder. When I finally responded I looked over at the scooter sitting in innocently in the corner and told her, “That machine is a devilish monster. I swear it's been trying to kill me all day.” Since that first day of school The Devil and I have learned to tolerate each other. We even sat still long enough to pose for the included picture. My sister says I've given my scooter a terrible name, but honestly, what else can you call him but The Devil?
I've been writing this story over the course of a week, and just this past Thursday, The Devil successfully threw me off. It's almost embarrassing to admit. It was my first time scootering onto campus from the parking lot and I had just successfully avoided a steep slope, wood chips, and yellow traction strips. I was inside the building -- on level carpet -- and suddenly I wasn't moving forward. The Devil flipped over backward and I went backward too. It's one of those things that makes you wonder what's going on in the mind of The Devil. I don't think The Devil's goal has been to injure me, but he definitely succeeded in wounding my pride :]
Something Wrong with the Carpet
School requires a lot of adjusting. One of the things that changed was my breakfast and lunch times. Suddenly I was eating breakfast at seven-o-clock and I didn't have a chance for lunch until two-o-clock. I didn't really think it would be an issue since at work I often don't eat lunch until way past lunch time, since customers think the best time to order shirts is during lunch break ;) Well, about halfway through the week I was noticing some strange things - this carpet was one of them. I looked down at the carpet one day and had the strangest feeling that it was coming up to meet me. A random bout of dizziness came over me and the carpet, particularly the pattern on the carpet looked particularly strange. It wasn't the first time a dizzy spell had happened, but it was the strangest because of the carpet. Even now, looking at these pictures I'm still convinced there's something wrong with the carpet and I haven't gone back to study in this room because of it.
My Little ManThe power of my brain to provide fascinating and joy causing things to occur never ceases to amaze me. In other (more sensible) words, since I can’t drive I accompanied my mom to the dentist after she picked me up from school. Whilst there she gave me a fruit bar, and when finished with it I did what every person does with an useless wrapper, I folded it up. My mom talked to the dentist for a long time and I got bored I pulled the wrapper out of my pocket and unfolded it. I was standing at the receptionist counter in front of a security camera, and this is who I found. The poor man has no arms, but he’s still a very dandy man and I had him walking up and down the counter in front of the security camera before long. He had a very enjoyable ride home as he walked back and forth on the dashboard, until I threw him in the garbage can. Now all that’s left is this lovely picture and a little bit of joy :)
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